


Maybe, Possibly

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fake Relationship, Reality, Warnings: Some swearing and references to alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.





	

“Yes mum, I promise I’ll be there on time” Phil assured his worrying mother, who was hurriedly making last minute preparations for the upcoming annual family get together the following day.

“You let me know the minute you get on and off the train, alright?” Phil could hear the panic in her voice. She always put far too much effort in, he wondered why she bothered every year. He smiled as he poured the remaining cereal into his bowl.

“I promise, just as I did ten seconds ago” he chuckled, and there was a silence at the other end of the phone for a few seconds.

“One more thing…” she trailed off, and Phil paused momentarily, awaiting her to continue. She didn’t.

“Are you going to leave me hanging in suspense, or?” he prompted her to continue as he got the milk from the fridge, finding the perfect angle as to not spill it nor drop the phone.

“It’s nothing major, it’s just that I invited Elizabeth along too.”

Phil dropped the milk, sending the carton flying onto the floor and spilling all over the kitchen, whilst his eyes were wide with shock.

“Wh-why did you do that?” he asked, his throat suddenly dry. His free hand balled into a fist, and his fingernails dug into his palm.

“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but… you’re twenty-nine, you’re not getting any younger. Maybe you could rekindle things back up with her and think about settling down?”

“No.” he replied flatly, and he could practically hear his mother’s frustration.

“I hear she’s doing really well for herself now, and she always asks about you, according to her parents!”

“No.” Phil repeated, and his mother sighed.

“Would you please just give her a chance?” she pleaded, and Phil bit his lip. He was causing his mother more stress, he knew, but she had no right to go around inviting his ex to an already awkward event with extremely extended family. Especially when Elizabeth was that ex.

“Well what if I already have someone?” he regretted it the second the last word left his mouth.

A few seconds of silence, then a laugh. “I know that’s not the case, you would’ve told me.”

“It’s a new relationship! Around a month!” he was digging himself deeper into a hole he didn’t know how to get out of.

“Okay then,” he could tell his mother didn’t believe him at all, it was almost as if she was mocking him, “bring them along with you tomorrow, we’d all love to meet the one that’s stolen your heart!”

He was shocked she didn’t laugh after she said it.

“Fine, I will. We’ll see you tomorrow” he didn’t want to indulge in the conversation anymore, it had soured beyond belief.

“Looking forward to it! Love you!” she sounded surprisingly chirpy, the complete opposite to how she was mere minutes before, Phil guessed because she knew she had caught him out on a lie.

He leaned against the kitchen counter for around ten minutes after the call ended, just thinking how he could possibly get himself out of it. He couldn’t just cancel, this annual family get together meant a lot to multiple members of his family, and he wouldn’t be able to carry the guilt of letting them down.

“Is there a reason you’re giving the death stare to the kettle? What did it do?” Dan asked in amusement as he walked into the kitchen and placed his plate into the sink.

When Phil didn’t respond, he clicked his fingers in front of his best friend’s face, breaking him out of the deep thought trance he was in.

“I’d take bets on the kettle any day” he added, smiling in the knowledge Phil had no idea of the context.

“Sorry I was just a little out of it there” Phil apologised, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah, no kidding. What’s wrong anyway?” Dan gestured for Phil to follow him back into the living room. None of them acknowledged the spilled milk. Though it was niggling at the back of Phil’s mind, he needed to clean it up.

Once they were both on the sofa, Dan’s laptop on his lap and he was back to scrolling through his social network feeds, Phil’s gaze was on his lap, the room fell silent for a little while.

“So you know how it’s the family get together tomorrow?” Phil heard himself, he was speaking in little more than a mumble.

“You’re not excited for it? You’re usually ready at five-thirty, ready to meet your relatives” Dan reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

Phil sighed.

“My mum invited my ex.”

“Which ex are we talking about here? Jealous, demon, not into bacon or amicable?”

Phil smiled for a second, he had almost forgotten the late-night conversation they’d had one time where they gave nicknames to each other’s exes for easier future reference.

“Demon.”

“Shit, you’re screwed.”

Phil flipped him off.

“Mum wants me to settle down, apparently I’m getting too old not to be” Phil sighed again, running a hand through his hair. He was no closer to figuring it all out. “In the panic of the moment I told her I was already seeing someone, hoping she would uninvite her. Needless to say it didn’t work...”

“Your heat of the moment outbursts never do” Dan commented with a grin.

“What am I going to do? I can’t cancel and I can’t go alone or else my whole family will be pushing me towards her for the whole night” Phil placed his head in his hands.

The idea hit him like a ton of bricks.

Dan seemed slightly startled when Phil’s head snapped back up, and he looked at him with the most eager and hopeful of expressions.

“You’re creeping me out, why are you staring at me like that?” Dan asked, closing his laptop and giving Phil his full attention.

“I was wondering if maybe, you’d… you know” it was too embarrassing for Phil to say.

“Your family’s already met me, it’d be obvious” it was kind of surprising to Phil that Dan clicked on so quickly.

“I mean, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch, some of them watch our videos so all we’d have to do is confirm a few rumours and suspicions. Plus, you’ve only met my parents, and that was just once in twenty-ten. Please? I really need you to do me this favour, Dan.”

Dan placed his laptop on the coffee table. He placed his index finger on his chin in mock-contemplation.

“Alright, I’ll do it” he nodded, and Phil felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders, “But only because it’s demon.”

“Only because it’s demon” Phil confirmed. “I’d do the same for you if it was potato peeler.”

Dan shuddered. “We agreed never to talk about her again!” he complained.

They shared a laugh before heading to bed for the night, having an early train to catch the following morning. Phil fell asleep with a smile on his face, safe in the idea that maybe the whole get-together might not be such a tragedy after all.

\--

“A thing you should know about both of my granddads… they’re very, let’s say, blunt. Say whatever’s on their mind no matter what it is, so just prepare for that, don’t be taken aback by anything they say” they were forty-five minutes into their train journey to Manchester.

Dan placed down the apple he was eating and picked up his coffee, and took a tentative sip.

“I can handle that, I’ve survived Tyler’s drunken home truths when he was drunk at the Playlist after party that time, I think I’ll be fine” his smile was almost fully covered by the rim of his coffee cup.

“Yeah, he really went to town on those,” Phil recalled the time when Tyler sat everyone at the after party down and went to them all one by one in a drunken stupor and revealed what he truly thought about them. “But point remains, be prepared for anything.”

Dan waved off his worry as he took another sip of coffee, then returned to his apple. Phil couldn’t imagine it was the nicest of combinations.

“So let’s run through what we’ll say when they ask how we met.”

Dan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“You’re kidding, right?” he pressed his lips together, stifling a smile, when he saw that Phil wasn’t kidding. “If they watch our videos I’m pretty sure they know how we met.”

“Dan.” Phil wanted the whole thing to be perfect, he couldn’t afford to screw up, especially when Elizabeth was around. There was a hell of a lot riding on their performance as a believable couple.

“I promise I’ll be charismatic and delightful and everything parents love. We’ll sweep them all off their feet. I’ll be the perfect temporary boyfriend, you have my word.” Dan held out a hand, gesturing for a handshake. It probably seemed a tad formal, but with the way Phil was acting, Dan didn’t think words alone would be enough.

Phil sighed in relief as he shook Dan’s hand, feeling more at ease, even though his nerves were building with every stop the train reached, they were getting closer.

“Have to say, this is stirring up some crazy déjà vu moments for me” Dan stated as he sat back in his seat, resting his head against the headrest as he gazed out of the window.

“How so?” Phil asked curiously, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Well, soon enough we’ll be coming to the same stops I went through when I was on my way to meet you for the first time all those years ago” Dan turned his attention to Phil and a small smile crept onto his lips as he remembered how terrified his former self was in October of 2009. “It’s just weird to be doing it all again, I guess.”

“I bet my family are waiting for us just as anxiously as I was waiting for you back then” Phil’s gaze was down at his coffee, but the recollection of his and Dan’s first meeting caused him to smile fondly to himself.

\--

Phil’s heart was practically pounding out of his chest during the whole taxi ride from the train station to his parents’ house. A group of them were meeting there first before traveling to the venue his auntie had hired out for the get-together later that afternoon.

“We should probably hold hands, in case they’re peeking out of their window to see us coming” Dan suggested quietly as they turned onto Phil’s parents’ street, and Phil nodded, slightly annoyed he didn’t come up with the idea first. His parents were expecting them any minute, he’d texted them from the station.

To get used to it, they loosely linked their hands between them, and Phil was shocked that it didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable at all.

“Hey, try not to worry too much,” Dan squeezed his hand softly. “We’ve got this, yeah?” he sounded sincere, and it did instil some confidence. Some much needed confidence.

Sure enough, as soon as the taxi pulled up outside the house, Phil immediately saw the movement of the living room curtains, they were being watched.

“Are you ready for this?” Phil asked, taking a deep breath as the taxi driver was getting their cases from the back of the car. “It’s not too late to back out, I can say I brought you as a friend…”

“More than ready!” Dan insisted. “Let’s go knock them dead. In a ‘oh we’re so in love can’t you see’ kind of way. Not in the literal way.”

“I think you’re hyper or something” Phil laughed, and Dan shrugged.

“Maybe, who knows. But what I do know is we’re not helping things by still being in the back of this taxi” he opened his door and shuffled out, pulling Phil along with him as their hands were still linked.

After paying the taxi driver and him wishing them a nice day, Phil deduced there was nothing left to do but get Dan acquainted with his family, as his boyfriend.

With every step up the path they took, he felt more and more like he was going to throw up.

“I’m kind of excited!” Dan exclaimed as Phil knocked on the door.

He was about to question why, but the door flew open a lot quicker than he thought it would have.

“Phil, honey!” his mother squealed excitedly as she pulled her son in for a tight hug, and his father hugged him straight after.

“You both remember Dan, right?” he asked his parents, and Dan waved, not knowing what else to do.

“Of course we do, don’t be silly!” his mother pulled Dan in for a hug, and his father shook his hand.

“So you’re the one that’s snapped up my baby?” she asked Dan, and Phil noticed she was studying Dan’s expression extremely closely. She clearly still had her suspicions.

Dan took Phil’s hand again.

“I guess I am!” he grinned at her, “A month and four days so far, not that I’m counting or anything” the fact he remembered everything that Phil had told him the night before and on the train ride there gave him even more confidence that maybe the night ahead might not be such a lost cause.

“Ah, young love” she mused, and Phil rolled his eyes.

“Let’s not stay on the doorstep any longer, we’ll all catch pneumonia. Come on in!” his father ushered them in and closed the door behind them, and took their cases upstairs to Phil’s room.

As they neared the living room, Phil prayed to every collective holy figure that Elizabeth wouldn’t be there. He needed longer to prepare himself. She was overwhelming to say the least.

He couldn’t fight the smile that spread across his lips when she wasn’t there. Both sets of his grandparents were, as well as Martyn and Cornelia.

“Look who decided to show up!” Martyn was the first to acknowledge their arrival, and he got up to give his brother a hug, and Cornelia followed suit. They also hugged Dan.

“Who’s this?” his granddad Roy asked, nodding towards Dan.

So now their acting truly began.

“This is Dan, my boyfriend” Phil introduced, and Dan shook his hand, much to his grandma and grandad’s delight.

“He’s a polite one!” his grandma Anne, Roy’s wife, complimented as Dan gave her a kiss on the cheek, he was doing a round and greeting everyone accordingly.

“A real charmer!” his other grandma, Sadie, giggled as Dan kissed her on the cheek.

“So how long have you been together?” his other grandad, John, asked once Dan had sat beside Phil on the sofa.

“Just what I was about to ask myself” Martyn agreed, leaning forward in his chair, ready to interrogate his younger brother.

“Only around a month” Phil answered, and Dan nodded.

“But there’d always been something, you know? It was a gradual thing, but only became official a month or so ago” Dan elaborated, taking Phil by surprise slightly. But Dan was _good._

“Fuck sake” Martyn mumbled as he fished around in his pocket, eventually pulling out a ten pound note and handing it over to his girlfriend, who winked at Dan and Phil.

“I always had faith in you two,” Cornelia explained, “I knew it was only a matter of time!”

“You and me both” Dan quipped, and then leaned forward to high-five her.

Polite conversation followed, straying to and from Dan and Phil’s ‘relationship’, none of them slipping up once, and Phil was finally getting in a comfortable state of mind about the whole thing, when his mother’s mobile rang, and she scurried into the corridor to take the call.

“I think that’s our cue to get ready to leave” Sadie predicted.

“Okay everyone, time to leave!” Phil’s mother confirmed the suspicions as she re-entered the living room, and everyone began to get up and prepare to leave, getting into different cars and carrying different supplies in them.

Dan and Phil were riding with Roy and Anne, and as everything was being packed into all of the cars, the two stayed in the living room until it was less chaotic.

“It’s going well, right?” Dan asked with a grin.

“I can’t help but feel they’ve gone easy on us so far,” Phil bit his lip, “Wait until everyone’s got a few drinks down them.”

 Dan ruffled Phil’s hair. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“We’re literally at the bridge now, we’re tip-toeing on it.”

“You worry too much,” Dan waved off his concern, “But if we keep talking like this much longer people will start to suspect things so I suggest we go be that gross overly in love couple, to keep up appearances and all that.”

“After you,” Phil gestured towards the door, and Dan smiled again before standing up from the sofa and holding out his hand, which Phil took, and they made their way outside to where everyone else was, just about having finished packing the supplies.

Phil noticed his mother gazing at them as she waited for something or other, so Phil took the opportunity to press a gentle kiss to Dan’s cheek, taking him by surprise. But it caused his mother to smile warmly, before she got into the car.

“Are you two lovebirds coming or not?” Roy shouted out of the driver’s side window, looking at them through the wing-mirror.

Phil noticed everyone else was setting off, they would be the last car to leave, and he smiled as he squeezed Dan’s hand and dashed to the car, slipping in the back seat in one swift movement.

“We’re going nowhere until you put your seatbelts on.” Anne warned as she turned her head to face them, resulting in the breaking apart of their hands as they fumbled with their seatbelts.

“I certainly see which side of the family Phil got his stubbornness from” Dan joked, and Anne laughed.

“You should hear him when he gets going,” she pointed to her husband, who held his hands up. “He can complain for bloody England!”

“Like grandfather like grandson, as the saying goes!” Roy smiled at the two of them before starting the car. A pleasant, easy atmosphere having been created.

Dan really was a natural.

\--

The venue was the local village hall, and every year Phil was blown away by the size of his family. He didn’t even know half of them, but they all seemed to know him. Though maybe that was because his parents all but forced everyone to watch his videos.

“I’m excited!” Dan exclaimed quietly as the two followed Roy and Anne inside, and he squeezed Phil’s hand.

First impressions were everything, after all.

“Prepare yourself, I bet you anything she’s waiting for me” Phil muttered.

“Oh please,” Dan dismissed  his worry, “The second we see her, you’ll realise you’re worrying for nothing.”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to say-“

“Oh my god, Phil! Hi!”

Phil tightened his grip on Dan’s hand as Elizabeth tottered towards them on too-high heels, sporting a crop top and mini skirt combo, a lightwash denim jacket draped over it. Her face was coated in flawlessly applied makeup, and her hair was curled to within an inch of its life. She hadn’t changed at all.

“Elizabeth,” Phil nodded civilly, and Dan eyed her curiously, waiting for her to acknowledge his existence.

She didn’t. Instead she physically broke apart their hands, taking them both by shock, and pulled Phil in for a tight hug, so tight he was close to choking on her perfume. She still wore the same one.

“How have you been? Your mum’s been telling me stuff but it’s nice to hear from you directly!” her voice was sickly sweet, she was trying far too hard.

“This and that, work stuff, mainly” Phil replied, not having it in him to be rude outright.

“I’ve missed you” she bit her cherry-red painted lip, clearly not having cared about his previous answer.

He fought back the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. Beside him, Dan couldn’t fight back his urge to scoff, and Phil glanced at him in amusement.

“And you are?” Elizabeth glared at him, eyes narrowed.

“Dan.”

“My boyfriend” Phil added quickly, and he silently revelled in the shock that momentarily panned across Elizabeth’s face.

“You’re joking, right?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. She was blocking out Dan completely, and Phil could tell Dan was slowly but surely losing his cool.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Dan asked, anger seeping through his tone.

Phil called it the Elizabeth effect.

“He’s not really your type, babe” she held up a hand to block off her mouth from Dan’s view, either not realising or not caring that he could obviously still hear her.

“Don’t call me that.” Phil was close to snapping, but Elizabeth simply smiled, dropping her hand.

“Whatever you say, Philly,” she giggled, “Can I speak to you outside for a couple of minutes?”

She narrowed her eyes at Dan again.

“Like, alone?” she added.

Phil shook his head.

“Sorry, _we’re_ busy. If you’ll excuse us,” he then took Dan’s hand again and led him away from Elizabeth, who turned on her heels and watched them walk away, shouting an ‘I’ll catch you later!’ as if Phil wanted it to happen.

As soon as they were out of her sight around the corner, Dan leaned against the wall and sighed. Phil could see he was physically shaking from anger.

“I didn’t give her the nickname ‘demon’ for no reason” Phil shrugged, addressing it before Dan could let out a string of unpleasantries.

“I know, but still! You can’t just ignore someone like that and fucking break people’s hands apart!” Dan complained, running a hand through his hair.

“She’ll have that effect on you all night, you know” Phil told him.

“Once I get over the initial shock and tune my bitch radar back into functionality I’ll be fine.” Dan assured him, prompting Phil to laugh. “But seriously, if your only other option is to settle down with her, I’ll happily marry you right here, right now.”

Phil laughed again. “As if you wouldn’t jump at the opportunity otherwise” he nudged Dan’s arm playfully, and Dan smiled.

“Shut up, you absolute loser.”

But Phil didn’t miss the slight blush on Dan’s cheeks.

“But seriously, I’d rather have our three in the morning gaming competitions any day of the week” Phil stated, speaking the absolute truth.

They joined their hands together again.

\--

Around an hour later, Phil was helping various extended family members bring food in and setting up the buffet table, Dan occasionally helping before inevitably getting bored and going back to talk to people – Phil was still shocked at how easily Dan had gotten along with all of his family, and the fact everyone seemed to adore him. Some had even told Phil so.

“So how long have you and Dan been together?” one of his second cousins, Tess, asked as the two leaned against the wall outside of the building, Phil keeping her company during a cigarette break.

“It’s kind of been a slow burn thing. Officially only a month but unofficially for a year or two, I’d say.”

“Fuck,” Tess exhaled some smoke, “I can’t imagine what that purgatory state must’ve been like. Not knowing where you stood with him for two years, I’d have had to make a move as soon as I realised I liked the guy.”

Phil dipped his head. “It was never a moment of realisation, it’s weird. We’ve been comfortable with each other since the start but gradually it turned into cosy cuddles on the sofa and watching the sunset together…”

He was slowly beginning to feel as if he was straying away from his pre-determined script, stepping into reality.

He listened to his cousin’s steady smoking pattern for a few seconds, the wind whipping his fringe across his face in a flurry of stray hairs, before he eventually looked up, the sun slowly beginning its descent, an almost amber sky stretched out before him.

“The realisation I physically couldn’t live without him.”

Tess turned to face him, studying his face for a couple of seconds before stubbing out her cigarette.

“You really do like him, don’t you?” she asked, cocking her head to the side slightly.

Phil merely nodded, not knowing what he was thinking anymore.

“I can tell” she smiled, and she squeezed his shoulder softly. “He seems lovely, he’s talking everyone’s ears off about you, too. I think you’ve got a good one, there.”

Well, Phil always knew Dan was good at acting. He was probably just thankful that he finally had a chance to show his talent off.

“I want that kind of soppy cliché romantic shit that you two have,” Tess sighed, “But I’ll be living vicariously through the two of you for the rest of the night, in the meantime.” She smirked, and Phil laughed.

“Go right ahead” he told her, and she held up a hand for a high-five, which he reciprocated.

They then heard a stampede of footsteps from inside the hall, and Tess laughed.

“Guess food must be served now” she deduced, and Phil’s stomach rumbled in insistence that he should join in.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to deal with an awkward goodbye, as Tess began making her way back inside, engaging Phil in a new conversation, this time about family drama that he otherwise wouldn’t have known.

\--

After assembling his plate of food, Phil made his way back over to his immediate family’s table, and found himself smiling when he noticed Dan was sat there, just having laughed at a joke John made. His heart sank slightly when he saw Elizabeth sat directly opposite him, a single lettuce leaf on her plate, shooting daggers at Dan.

As soon as Phil sat beside him, Elizabeth perked up, a wide smile on her lips and eyes wide, almost as if she’d been caught out on something. Which she had, as if Phil could miss it.

“You’re back!” Dan smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Phil’s cheek. They both chose to ignore Elizabeth’s scoff. “Elizabeth was just telling me about how I should get botox.”

When Phil glanced to Elizabeth, she simply shrugged, then nodded. “Botox, liposuction, maybe a tummy tuck…” she listed them off on her perfectly manicured fingers.

The very thought of Dan putting himself through that made Phil shudder.

“I’d never want him to do anything like that unless he really wanted to” Phil told her as he took a bite of his sandwich. “I like having a bit of squish to cuddle at night” he proceeded to smush a fairy cake into Dan’s mouth, taking the other man by surprise.

He burst out into laughter straight after and smushed a muffin from his own plate into Phil’s mouth in return. Elizabeth muttered an ‘ugh’ and crossed her arms across her chest, rolling her eyes.

Phil’s family smiled fondly over at the two of them, in fits of laughter both covered in crumbs, thoroughly enjoying each other’s company. As they saw it, love’s young dream. As Dan and Phil saw it, a normality, always the inevitable outcome of any baking video as soon as the camera was turned off. It was practically a tradition.

\--

A couple of hours later into the night, after countless interactions with family members he couldn’t have had less of a clue about, Phil was finally beginning to relax. Elizabeth had wandered off somewhere, and it was just Dan and Phil left sat at the table, the rest of his family were off doing something or other.

Many people were on the makeshift dancefloor, bopping along to a song Phil didn’t know courtesy of a distant cousin who was a freelance DJ, and seeing everyone have fun made him smile, he liked when people were happy. Particularly the man sat beside him.

“Having fun?” Phil asked, turning his head slightly to face Dan, who was placing his glass back down on the table.

“Surprisingly more than I thought I would be,” he answered, “Your family’s a lot more fun than mine, that’s for damn sure.”

Phil laughed. “You’ve not slipped up yet, have you?” he asked, knowing full well that he himself hadn’t. Referring to Dan as his boyfriend was practically second nature by now, it didn’t feel weird at all anymore, he’d told so many people in one night.

Dan shook his head. “Not even close. I’ve really warmed to this role, you could say.”

Phil took a few moments to think of what it could mean. He eventually decided to shrug it off as nothing.

“Thanks for doing this” he thanked Dan for probably the hundredth time, taking the chance to gently poke the brunet’s dimple.

“First of all, stop saying that. Secondly, hands off the dimple, don’t touch what you can’t afford” Dan joked, poking Phil in the arm as revenge.

“I’m allowed to be touchy-feely with my _boyfriend_.” Phil stated, and Dan raised an eyebrow.

“Touché.”

They then both turned their attention back to the dancefloor, watching couples sway in time with the music, and miscellaneous groups of family members freestyle alongside them.

“Do you think we should go up there at some point?” Dan asked, pressing his lips together afterwards.

“I can’t dance, you know that” Phil replied, and Dan smirked.

“You danced at both tatinof after-parties.”

“Hey,” Phil turned to face him and held up a finger, “We vowed never to talk about that again, I had way too much and you forced me into it.” He gently prodded Dan in the stomach, causing him to erupt in laughter.

“You were _wasted._ You know Louise still has the footage from the first one, right?”

“She told me she deleted it!” Phil gasped, and Dan laughed again.

“She’s probably told you a lot of things.”

Phil flipped him off and sighed, before subtly retrieving his phone and sending a text to Louise begging her to delete the footage from the face of the earth.

“But to go back to your question, no, I don’t think we should go up there at some point” Phil rounded the conversation back to the topic at hand.

“Could be fun, besides maybe some close contact dancing will make this,” Dan gestured between the two of them, “more believable for anyone that still might have doubts…”

“We’re not going to dance, but if one of my grandmas asks you to dance with them by all means go” Phil added the last part on as he saw Sadie look over to them and smile, she in particular had taken a huge liking to Dan.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Dan nodded, before momentarily flicking his gaze to Phil, “But I’d quite honestly like to be up there with you.”

“Then you’re shit out of luck, my friend” Phil quipped, leaving a pouting Dan at the table whilst he went to get another drink.

“I hate you!” Dan called after him, quiet amongst the pounding music yet Phil still managed to hear him.

Phil turned on his heels to mockingly blow a kiss towards Dan. “I love you too!”

He stopped in his tracks a few steps later. It wasn’t the first time they’d had that exchange, usually when one of them steals the other’s charger or eats the other’s cereal or doesn’t wake up in time to get their own parcel so the other has to get it, they have the whole ‘I hate you/I love you too’ routine, but for some reason that time it felt different. Obviously because of the situation they were in and the fact some of the people they were trying to fool were probably within hearing distance, but Phil noticed that it was just as much of a natural exchange as any time before.

The thought was still on Phil’s mind on his way back to the table, he was so wrapped up in it that it took him a couple of seconds to register that he was being dragged somewhere, someone had a tight grip on his free arm.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Elizabeth standing opposite him when his arm was released, she had brought him outside, away from everyone else.

“Not to be rude, but what do you want?” Phil’s patience with her was dangerously thin, she had worn him down.

“You.”

“It didn’t work on me when we were nineteen, it’s not going to work on me now.” Phil’s grip tightened on his glass.

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “That was ten years ago.”

“So why are you trying to cling onto something that happened so long ago?”

“Because I want us to try again, for real this time. We both know what we want now, we’re not stupid kids anymore, Phil.”

Phil pressed his lips together and tried to keep his anger from bubbling up to the surface.

“You’re right, I do know what I want now” he humoured her, and cringed internally as she took a step forwards toward him, consequently he took a step back. “I want Dan.”

Elizabeth sighed in frustration, and crossed her arms across her chest. “Oh please, you can’t honestly think it’s going to last with him. You might as well end it now, save him becoming clingy.”

“Excuse me?” Phil shouldn’t have been shocked Elizabeth was saying such things, but as he’d had so long away from her, her brashness and outright rude manners came as quite a shock still.

“You’re completely different, he’s not your type at all. I’m your type, everyone knows we’re perfect for each other, they said it then and they say it now.”

Phil scoffed. “You couldn’t care less about me.”

“Try me, then.” She prompted, tapping a foot impatiently on the concrete.

“Okay. When’s my birthday?” Phil could’ve asked something even simpler like what his middle name was, the outcome would still have been the same.

Elizabeth tutted. “At least pretend like you’re giving this some thought, Phil. Of course I remember your birthday’s April 18th.”

“That was Damien’s birthday.” Phil was ready to just leave, he couldn’t make it any clearer.

Elizabeth didn’t even react. “Whatever.”

“I’m in love with someone else, just accept that.” Phil was pulling out all the stops, and he didn’t feel bad in the slightest anymore. Nor did he care that he probably sounded like a soppy teenager trying too hard.

“Then why hasn’t anyone seen you kiss tonight?” Elizabeth asked, tone saccharine. It made Phil feel slightly uncomfortable.

“We’re not one of those couples that are all over each other all the time.” Phil was shocked his mind was working fast enough to compile functional replies so quickly.

“Nobody has seen you two do anything remotely romantic since you got here, I asked around.”

“You realise that’s more than a little bit stalkerish?”

“People do crazy things for the one they love. But back to the point, are you going to cut the crap with this guy?”

“Obviously not.” Phil had to give Elizabeth props for her determination. She didn’t give up easily.

“Then kiss him” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’m not going to let you pressure me into kissing my boyfriend if I don’t want to.”

“You’re adorable,” she set to place her hand on his cheek but he dodged it at the last second. She wasn’t fazed. “But let’s put it this way. If he hasn’t kissed you in the next five minutes…”

She trailed off as she tapped on her phone, then flipped it around to show that it was on the timer app, set to five minutes, and her finger hovered above the Start button. She leaned on her tiptoes to get close to his ear.

“Then I will” she purred, then clicked the Start button.

“We turn thirty next year, I’m not going to be playing these stupid games with you, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth simply wiggled her phone around as the time continued to count down, and she retrieved a lipstick from her bag, and began applying it blindly as she maintained their eye contact.

“Tick tock, Philly, I’m looking forward to it” she winked, before Phil finally snapped, and stormed back inside, heading straight for the table where Dan was thankfully still sitting, making conversation with John and Anne. Phil placed his glass down with more force than he would’ve liked and politely excused himself and Dan, and dragged Dan towards the dancefloor.

As soon as they stepped foot on it, the music changed from an upbeat pop song to a slow and soulful ballad. True to cheesy movie form.

Phil glanced towards the DJ decks, and rolled his eyes when he saw Martyn was controlling them under the supervision of their cousin, and his brother sent him a wink, he had timed the music change deliberately when he saw them coming.

Phil’s only hope was to blend in the middle of all the dancing couples around them, even though he had absolutely no clue what he was doing.

“You’ve certainly changed your tune” Dan smiled as he helped Phil get into the right position, almost immediately picking up on his unease and lack of expertise. “What happened?”

“Got roped into talks with a demon,” Phil sighed, “Basically she’s going to make a move if she doesn’t see us kissing in the next five minutes.”

Dan sniggered. “You’re joking, right?”

“I wish I was.”

“Is she for real? Like is she that petty?” the question was utterly rhetorical, and Phil simply raised an eyebrow at him.

“Okay I asked for that” Dan admitted as they began to dance like the other couples around them (Phil was solely following Dan’s lead), “But has she not already made like eighteen moves on you?”

“Do you really want to take that risk? Because speaking from experience, I wouldn’t like to.” Phil gazed to the doorway of the building, and sure enough Elizabeth was stood there, illuminated phone held up beside her as if she knew he would be looking. He shuddered to think how long was left. She had already quite literally broken them apart once, she wouldn’t think twice about doing it again.

Dan stared at him for a few seconds, before eventually breaking out into a smile.

“Fair enough, let’s give the people what they came for.” He moved one of his hands to below Phil’s chin, and with a feather-soft touch brought their faces closer together. There was a momentary pause for any of them to pull away if they wanted to, but neither did. Then, they kissed. Their first ever kiss, soft and slow, and all for show.

Though it felt comfortable and, dare Phil admit, natural. Maybe he was just a better actor than he originally thought.

He heard various people ‘aw’ around them at seeing the sight, causing them both to break apart with shy smiles on their lips.

“She’s gone” Dan whispered a few seconds later after a cautious glance towards the door, breaking Phil out of some sort of haze he didn’t realise he was in.

“Hopefully for good.” he didn’t regret it at all.

“I’ll drink to that later” Dan mumbled, sending Phil into fits of laughter that Dan couldn’t help but match it, earning them confused and disapproving looks from the very people that were aw’ing at them fondly just a few seconds prior.

But Dan and Phil had never been ones to stick to typical party etiquette such as not breaking into laughter in the middle of the dancefloor. Not even at their first party together (rather the first one they were sober enough to remember), the Halloween YouTube party, where they sat on the wall of the nearby fountain together alone rather than being inside socialising.

It was just the way they were.

\--

“I want to be in that ‘can’t keep your hands off each other phase” Tess huffed, leaning back against the wall as she exhaled the smoke from her cigarette.

Whilst almost everyone else was entranced by a karaoke machine someone had, for some reason, brought along, Dan, Phil, Tess and another of Phil’s cousins, Terrance, had made a bid for freedom outside.

“I just want to be as far away from this place as possible when my dad gets on the karaoke, four pints and he thinks he’s got a voice from the gods” Terrance sighed, lighting up his own cigarette.

“I’m being serious, I’m not in the mood for your jokes” Tess hit Terrance lightly on the arm. “I want what you guys have” she gestured between Dan and Phil.

“It’s not that special, honestly” Phil felt slightly guilty, but at the same time he felt relieved, they’d managed to at least fool one person. Tess had already said a similar thing to him earlier during their last conversation, but it was reassuring to know he and Dan hadn’t slipped up since.

“I’m sure you’ll find it someday” Dan said, smiling at Tess, who huffed again.

“When pigs fly” she mumbled, directing her gaze down at her feet, and she scuffed the tips of her shoes against the gravel.

“I’ll never find anyone willing to make out with me in the middle of the dancefloor” she pouted comically, causing Phil to blush. Looking back, it was so out of character for him, not something he’d typically do. Drastic times, drastic measures.

“We weren’t ‘making out’ per se” he defended, and Tess rolled her eyes.

“You definitely were” Terrance argued, a smirk on his lips.

“We weren’t! It was just a little kiss!” Phil didn’t know why he was defending it so much, or why Dan hadn’t spoken up either.

“You’re over-gesticulating again” Dan finally broke his silence, an amused smile pride of place on his face.

“I told you to physically restrain me if I do it again!” Phil reminded him, and Dan shrugged, stating he ‘forgot’.

Tess stubbed out her cigarette. “I want little domestics like that!” she huffed in frustration and ran a hand through her hair. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to make some future arrangements. Those eighty-six thousand cats won’t adopt themselves, now will they?” she then left the group and headed back inside, waving before she left their view and shooting a smile assuring them that she was okay.

“Do you think it’ll be safe to go back in yet? Things seem to have quietened down a little” Terrence pondered as the three of them listened, the echo from someone singing no longer bellowing from the building.

“Maybe it’s an intermission type thing?” Dan guessed, and Terrance placed a finger to his chin.

“I’ll take it” he announced before heading back inside, constantly mumbling under his breath how much he needed another drink.

Dan and Phil followed, having gotten the ‘fresh air’ they had gone out for in the first place. They decided not to offend various people by saying they went outside for silence.

On their arrival back to the table, Phil’s mother waved him over and patted the seat beside her.

“How’s Elizabeth?” she asked, and Phil pressed his lips together.

“Exactly,” his mother continued after picking up on his silence, “You haven’t spoken to her all night!”

“But I have, I-“

“Well I haven’t seen you. Even if you are with Dan now, you can still be friends with her, can’t you?”

Phil bit back his instinctive ‘absolutely not’, stifling it into a simple nod, purely to please his mother. It wasn’t as if he promised anything, nor would he have to act on it.

“That’s my boy” she smiled, and Phil smiled back.

They sat in silence for a little while, just people watching, at one point Dan caught Phil’s gaze and they shared a smile, before Dan returned to his conversation with Roy.

Phil heard himself speak before his mind could even register it.

“So mum, what do you think of Dan?”

There was a part of him that wanted to cram the words back inside his mouth as soon as he spoke them.

“You know I’ve always liked him, I have done since I first met him, he’s a lovely guy.” She patted Phil’s hand.

“What do you think to us being together?”

The fact _that_ came out of his mouth without him realising was slightly more worrying.

His mother chuckled. “I’ll admit, at first I was sceptical. You’ve been friends for so long, I thought it seemed awfully convenient, especially since you never told me up until last night.”

Phil gulped, and crossed his hands in his lap.

“But honestly? Seeing the way you look at each other, it makes me so happy to see you happy. It’s the same way your brother and Cornelia look at each other, I feel like I’ve done my duty, saw you both through until you found the one. You can’t fake chemistry like that.”

Phil’s gaze was still down at his lap, and he tried his hardest not to let the guilt overwhelm him. He’d had plenty of opportunities to get himself out of the hole he’d dug himself into. He supposed both he and Dan were better actors than they thought. Impeccable, apparently. Exactly what they set out to do.

“Plus it kind of all adds up, now. With what Martyn and Cornelia told me about the two of you over the past few months.”

Phil’s blood ran cold.

“Wh-what would that be? What did they say?”

“Told me about all the flirting on the tour bus,” she nudged him playfully in the arm, “as Cornelia put it, domesticity at its finest.”

“It was only a matter of time, it was kind of a gradual thing” Phil explained, practically regurgitating what he said during his first conversation with Tess.

“If you’re happy, then I’m happy” she stated, and Phil flicked his gaze over to Dan, who was laughing at a joke delivered by one of Phil’s granddads.

“To tell you the truth, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

He wasn’t just telling his mother so, he was admitting it to himself, and realising probably the biggest reason why.

\--

It wasn’t soon after that his mother shooed him off when she saw Elizabeth coming over, insisting that now was the time for him to keep his promise. He shouted back an ‘I didn’t promise anything’, but she waved off his comment dismissively.

He only had to move a few seats down, so everyone could probably listen in on the conversation if they wanted to.

As Elizabeth sat down opposite him, Phil draped his arm across the back of Dan’s chair. It didn’t go unnoticed.

“Like butter wouldn’t melt.” Elizabeth snarled, wearing the fakest of smiles.

“Excuse me?” Phil was trying his hardest to please his mother, who was already smiling at seeing him communicate with Elizabeth. His manners had been wore down dangerously thin, though.

She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Cornelia, who was sat beside her.

“Lay off them a bit, Elizabeth. People say you’ve been on at them all night, let them have some fun.”

“I don’t know who these ‘people’ are that you’ve been talking to but they’re wrong. I’ve simply been trying to catch up with my favourite ex, but _someone_ keeps getting in the way of that.”

Phil didn’t even have to look up from his drink to know who she was talking about. He could imagine she was giving Cornelia the death stare, too.

“But you still don’t have to be such a bitch about it” Martyn commented, some syllables slightly slurred.

“Amen to that” Dan mumbled, and Phil bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.

“Do you have something to say?” Elizabeth turned her attention to Dan, obviously having heard him.

Phil noticed Dan’s body tense for a second, before he eased again.

“Believe me, I have plenty to say, but I won’t.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right about what I’d expect, coming from you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Phil could tell Dan was close to losing his patience again completely, not that anyone could blame him. Elizabeth clearly took pleasure in provoking him.

Phil quickly glanced around the table, it was obvious that everyone was listening in, though some of his family were being discreet and trying to give off that they were talking and listening to each other instead. The night was dwindling down to a close, so he supposed this was the most entertaining scenario on offer at the present moment.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you a university dropout? So it doesn’t surprise me you can’t come up with anything on the spot, I can’t imagine vocabulary is your strong point” she accused snidely, then took a dainty sip of her drink as if the words didn’t just come out of her mouth.

“Aren’t you the one that cheated on Phil with three different guys then threatened him if he ever dumped you?” Dan snapped back, standing up and slamming his hands on the table, his gaze intense and set on Elizabeth only.

The table fell silent, none of Phil’s family knew the reason he and Elizabeth broke up, he never told them.

He didn’t dare to look over to his mother, he knew her well enough to know she’d be filled with guilt over inviting Elizabeth in the first place and probably upset on top of that. Martyn was probably upset that Phil never told him, they used to tell each other everything, still did tell each other most things.

Phil was expecting a screaming match between Dan and Elizabeth, none of them had ever backed down from a verbal fight as long as he’d known them. But he was surprised at the actual reality, Elizabeth grabbed her bag and stormed out of the building, without saying a word to anybody, the whole building practically fell silent too as soon as she began stomping across the room, the only noise was the music playing faintly in the background.

“Well,” Roy broke the awkward silence following Elizabeth’s hasty, dramatic departure, “The time’s getting on a bit. We should probably start heading off.”

Nobody argued, the room was rapidly emptying anyway.

Phil took Dan’s hand as they followed Roy and Anne back to the car, and didn’t say a word. He could hear Dan’s unsteady breathing following his outburst, and squeezed his hand softly, a simple gesture, but Dan tightened their embrace as a result.

His grandparents seemed unfazed by the whole thing, Roy was cracking jokes just as he was before, and Anne was fussing over the both of them just as she was before. Having some normality after a night like the one he’d just endured was something Phil welcomed, was thankful for.

Once the two of them had been dropped off at Phil’s parents’ house (his grandparents would be coming by again the next day to say goodbye and whatnot), they went straight up to Phil’s old room, both of them thoroughly exhausted.

They got changed in record time, still none of them speaking a word.

“Sorry” Dan broke the long silence they’d had, until then it was only filled with hand squeezes and small smiles.

“For what?” Phil asked, raising an eyebrow, “You put her in her place! She needed to be taken down a peg like that.”

Dan smiled for a second. “I honestly thought I could keep a lid on it, I’d done so well all night but, she’s just a… a…” he trailed off as he tried to find the right end to that sentence.

“Demon?” Phil suggested with a smirk, and Dan laughed.

“You are good at nicknaming exes, I’ll give you that, top points for accuracy.”

“It’s a gift I have” Phil joked as he got into bed beside Dan.

Sharing a bed had never bothered them, they’d shared one countless times throughout the years. Most recently, they both managed to fit into a single tiny bunk on the tour bus, since Phil’s bunk had the strongest wifi signal, they supposed it was a hotspot.

“Still sorry I blurted it out though” Dan took a deep breath and pressed his lips together.

“Don’t be, saves me the job of having to tell my mum why I want nothing to do with Elizabeth for the rest of my life.”

Dan didn’t reply, only smiled slightly.

As Phil switched off the lamp on his bedside table, Dan let out a deep sigh.

“It’s so weird being back here again, literally nothing has changed.”

“We’ve changed” Phil replied, and Dan chuckled softly.

“I’ve gotten taller and you’ve lost a lot of your accent” he observed, and Phil laughed.

A few minutes of silence passed, though Phil couldn’t feel himself getting any closer to sleep. His mind was racing, even though it was blank.

“Are you still awake?” Dan whispered, his breath fanning Phil’s face.

“Yeah” he replied, and heard Dan yawn softly.

“Good. I just wanted to say it was fun acting with you tonight.”

“Acting” Phil repeated, playing around with the word in his mind for a while.

A short silence followed, during which Dan found Phil’s hand under the duvet, and loosely linked their fingers.

“Me neither.” He whispered, and Phil realised they had both come to the same conclusion. The realisation made his heart race slightly. He slowly brought their interlocked hands from under the duvet and pressed a gentle kiss to Dan’s knuckle (surprisingly accurately, given they were in pitch darkness).

He heard Dan gulp beside him. “So, does this mean that we’re…”

Phil smiled to himself, and squeezed Dan’s hand. “We’ll talk about it in the morning” he told the other man as he ran his thumb across the back of Dan’s palm. Dan sighed dramatically, though he was struggling to fight back his wide smile that was matching Phil’s.

“Yes, dear.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, friends!! I hope you enjoyed the fic!
> 
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